Whammy
by klutzysunshine
Summary: Like everything else about their relationship, Athena's pregnancy was a complete surprise. Bobby adores the baby but struggles with guilt.


thena's pregnancy - especially at her age - had been a shock to the entire Grant-Nash family. Four months along before she even realized, they hadn't had that much time to prepare. Luckily, the team had stepped up to help them prepare and set up the nursery. And although Athena was annoyed about it, she let Hen, Karen, and Maddie throw her a baby shower since she had gotten rid of all of May and Harry's baby things years earlier. And now that the baby was finally here - all eight pounds, six ounces of her, Athena couldn't wait for their life to go back to normal (their new normal, anyway). And all of them - team included - already adored the hell out of Anastasia Quinn Nash. "So you two finally decided on name order?" questioned an amused May when they brought her home.

Athena glared at her oldest daughter (holy shit, she had three kids now). "Not funny, May."

May smirked at her mother. "Didn't think it was. Remind me not to joke around you guys when you're running on barely any sleep." Of course she had learned that lesson the past five months anyway - mood swings sucked - but still.

Bobby smiled and then looked over at his stepson. "You want to hold her, Harry?"

He looked both petrified and excited. "Can I?"

"Of course you can," Athena assured him. She made him wash his hands and sit down first before gently depositing her in his lap. "Watch her head," she warned.

"Wow, she's so tiny," Harry breathed as Anastasia grabbed one of his fingers.

"We all start out this tiny - you were too," May teased.

"No arguing with a baby in the house," Athena warned. She snapped a quick picture of Harry and Anastasia on her phone then went to grab a quick snack since she was starving, thrilled she didn't have to eat anymore hospital food (although Bobby had snuck in something from _McDonald's_ hours after she gave birth).

Bobby surged forward and picked up Anastasia when the newborn began to cry. After soothing her, he handed the baby over to an impatient May. "Holy shit, you're so cute."

"Language!" Athena chided.

"Whatever." May held her little sister for a few minutes before the baby started to fuss again, clearly hungry. Athena sat down in the rocking chair Buck and Bobby had found and began to feed her.

"My girls," Bobby whispered in awe and tried to ignore the crack of pain the thought caused. This was reminding him too much of Marcy and Brook and his head started to pound. "Anybody want anything? I can run to the store."

"We're fine - sit back down." Athena patted the couch and waited for her husband to join.

Now antsy, Bobby shook his head. He had been trying to avoid this for months and now everything was hitting him at once. "I should get ready for work."

"You don't have to leave until midnight," May reminded him - she had been keeping track of his schedule while her mother and Anastasia were hospitalized.

Bobby checked the time on his phone and swore. "Right, must have gotten the time wrong. Thanks for reminding me."

Athena eyed him knowingly - she'd let him panic and stew in his fear for a few hours while he got it out of his system but she'd confront him soon. The last thing they needed was for him to spiral again. She completely understood why he was spiraling but he didn't need to worry. "You want to hold your little sister again?" she asked Harry.

Harry grinned. 'Yeah."

"Okay." Athena gently handed the baby over and stood up to briefly embrace Bobby on the way to the nursery. She grabbed the bassinet and brought it out to the living room, putting Anastasia down after Harry got tired of holding her. "Now we can relax - until we she wakes up."

When Bobby disappeared into their bedroom, Athena instructed May to watch over her sister and then proceeded to follow her husband. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Bobby suspected she knew why he was acting so off but he didn't want to talk about it.

"No reason. We're home with our baby - our family." She couldn't help but beam and her happiness was infectious since he smiled back at her. "We have three healthy, wonderful, amazing kids - who drive us up the wall - and that's all that matters."

He frowned, knowing exactly what she was trying to do. "Athena."

"Don't Athena me, Bobby." She hadn't intended to confront him now, wanted him to work out his issues, but looks like they were doing this. "Please tell me what's on your mind."

"I don't want to bother or hurt you. We just brought the baby home - you should be resting."

"And I will - should probably be napping - but right now, I'm more worried about you. Please tell me what's wrong." Athena sat down on the bed and he joined her a minute or two later.

It was like a dam had been broken. "When you told me you were pregnant, I was overjoyed, you know. Surprised as hell but this was a second chance to do everything right this time. And then I felt guilty about thinking that way and it only made everything worse. Here, I was excited but also thinking that Brook and Bobby would never get to meet their new sibling. I deprived them of life and a chance to meet their little sister. It's my fault they're gone, Athena. I can't ever take back what I did and we created a new life together. A little miracle baby, despite you insisting otherwise."

She snorted and rubbed his back. She had banned everyone from referring to Anastasia as a miracle baby early on. "Oh, Bobby. I wish you had come to me with all of this sooner instead of holding it in." Athena hugged him. "I love you - and Marcy, Brook, and Bobby loved you. May and Harry and Anastasia love you. Those kids in the firehouse love you - I'm pretty sure Buck thinks of you as his father, as much as you both deny it. We'll make mistakes - all parents do and you know it - but you're in recovery. If you ever feel yourself slipping, please go to somebody - anybody - and ask for help. Nobody would judge you. You're one of the strongest men I know and I fell in love with you for a reason."

Tears dripped down his face and Bobby's breath hitched. He leaned into Athena and started to sob. She let him cry it out with any judgement, thankful all three of their kids were quiet. She kissed him. "You done feeling sorry for yourself now?"

He laughed and wiped the tears off her face. His worries and fears weren't quite settled but he felt a lot better now that he had cried it out and talked to his wife. "I love you too. And yes, I'm done feeling sorry for myself and panicking. I'm going to be the best damn father I can be to that little girl out there. And I'll show her pictures of Brook and Bobby so she knows them."

"Sounds wonderful." Bobby kissed her, went into the bathroom to wipe his face off, and then returned to the living room. He picked up Anastasia from the bassinet and just held her. "I love you, sweet girl. Daddy's going to protect you as best as he can," he vowed.

Athena rejoined him and watched with awe as her ever-growing family interacted with each other and Anastasia.

Nothing had been fixed completely - doubts would continue to plague Bobby - but they were back on the right track. The Grant-Nash family wasn't perfect and they had issues like every other family but Anastasia had brought them closer together. And soon enough, the rest of their found family would be by to spoil the newest member rotten and get to know her.


End file.
